Phillip Retuta's Blog

The Life and Times of a Filipino-American

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The Past Is Told By Those Who Win.

61805873_6b837c02a5_oI’ve been listening to Jimmy Eat World’s 2004 album, Futures, today. It’s bringing back a lot of memories of undegrad, and when it was first released it inspired me to produce a series for my first photography class:

The combination of emo-pop and looking at these photos are bringing back those feelings of both being creative and inherently lonely: when Futures came out, I lost contact with some of my best friends, and I struggled with school and family. My head simply wasn’t in a good place, but it lead me to the path of being an artist and designer as a career. To me, loneliness and creativity go hand-in-hand: I’m at my most inspired and do my favorite work when I halt all social interactions. Now, at 32, I’m especially too busy with my job, my time is limited, and a few number of my friends are acting like bullies. I lost the desire to make things and, on the time I had left outside making money, I got too caught up with going out or stressing over menial chores. I didn’t want to be alone, I wanted to support myself financially, I wanted to have the clean house with the nice things — that combination halted whatever desire I had to draw or write or do anything for my emotional enrichment. With no outlet, I began to sink into depression.

I think I’m going to continue doing my own thing and focusing solely on being creative. In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been properly maintaining and updating not only this blog, but my Instagram, my dog’s Instagram, Tumblr, Twitter, and some other social media outlets. I’ve been drawing again. And of course, I’ve been writing. These are the ways to get my head clear, and they make me feel that whatever free time I have is being utilized properly. I’m producing work instead of just going out to a bar or restaurant with friends or hanging around someone’s apartment. I’m feeding my soul.

Being a loner or recluse has its benefits, and it’s inspiring.

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North Williamsburg Photo Walk.

IMG_0350On Sunday, I met up with Basak to walk and take photos around Williamsburg. We casually explored everything between North 10th/Grand Street and Bedford Avenue/The East River: we ate artisinal ice cream at Odd Fellows (I got Brown Butter Sage), looked at a shit-ton of jewelry at the Brooklyn Artists’ Flea, talked about music at Rough Trade Records NYC (I bought Wolf Parade and TLC on vinyl), wandered listlessly at that Urban Outfitters megafuck cluster store, drank Blue Bottle Coffee, smelled chocolate at Mast Brothers, visited the Sketchbook Project Library, and finally strolled along the piers by the East River.

Yeah, everything about that makes me sound like a hipster, huh?

Well, they’re gone from Williamsburg now. Nearly everyone we passed on the now-crowded streets of Williamsburg fit in one or more the following categories: 1) spoke in a British accent, 2) spoke on iPhones in German, Swedish, Arabic, or French, 3) pushed along a stroller while walking a small dog, or 4) looked like they came out of either a J.Crew or an H&M ad while walking a small dog. I guess I’ll save my Upper Middle Class Gentrification Rant Later, but you should check out this article regarding the economic disparity of Brooklyn, and how out-of-country mega-millionaires pretty much pushed out the slightly less rich from Manhattan and into the Outer Boroughs, which pushed out the middle class and the poor.

Sigh. I wish I was rich.

In any event, it was nice to take some photos with my new camera that was not dog-related, and spend time with Basak before she leaves NYC and moves to Berlin.